Happily Ever Life

Do you know that app called Zillow that you can search for places to buy or rent? Yes, that one. What if I told you that it can be used as motivation for the life you want even if you are not thinking about buying a property or renting a new place in the near future. You can go from just browsing potential dream homes in areas you dream of, to turning it into a strategic tool for life inspiration and what it takes to get there. Here’s how to do it: Do you Dream about a Change in Life? If you live in the city and see yourself living in a farm with chickens, cows and horses, or if you live in a small town but would love to have the experience of living in a big city like New York City, or if you currently live in a big house but dream about getting rid of all your belongings and moving to a tiny house in the middle of the woods or are you tired of long winters and want to live in Florida? Then use Zillow to find the place or places that would make that life vision come true. Save your Vision Now that you have a vision in your mind of the life and place you want, make sure you keep it handy. Add the Zillow links to your list of favorites or send it to a person close to you like your significant other. I always send Zillow links to my husband and we love talking about our life dreams. Being able to see your life vision will help you stay motivated on the actions to get there. Always remember that nothing is impossible if you put your mind to it and that everything starts with a vision. Create an Action Plan Now that you have a life vision, create an action plan for what it takes to get to that vision. Break it down into categories and by order of completion. For example, start with a timeframe, do you see yourself in a farm 3 years from now? Once you have a timeframe, you’ll be able to create an action plan based on that. For example, do you need to work on your credit score? In which case, get a copy of your official credit report and create a list of items to clean up. Another example, based on the prices you found on Zillow, how much money will you need to put aside each paycheck in order to have a good enough down payment for your farmhouse? Once you know that, then you can create a plan like opening a savings account and start saving money, always keeping your vision in mind. Allow Yourself to Change your Mind Once you are saving money for your life vision, allow yourself to change your mind. You are not locked to a vision you had a couple years ago. People change and so do life visions. It’s never too late to have a new life vision with a new timeframe and a new action plan. The important part is to always keep looking ahead while enjoying the present moment. Regardless of where you are in life right now, it is always a great thing to have life dreams, visions and aspirations as they keep us motivated to keep us pushing forward and working hard. I enjoy browsing through Zillow and dreaming away to different lives I want, some days I feel like a farmer, some I feel like a Disney adult and some days I feel like a New Yorker at heart and this is called living.  

Life can be crazy sometimes and it can take a toll on your mental and physical health. Since most of us are not ready to drop everything and move to a farm then what if I told you that something you already do every second of your day can make you feel healthier if you do it a little bit different and it can be done in seconds while you are busy conquering the world. It’s breathing, yes breathing but I am referring to deep breathing. Deep breathing brings more oxygen into your brain and body which can give you some great benefits and it is something so simple to do. Let’s explore some of those benefits.   Helps Beat Headaches I came across deep breathing by accident. I was suffering from persistent headaches that just wouldn’t go away. At the moment of my worst pain, I closed my eyes and started to breathe deeply while working hard to clear my mind, almost like meditating. The deep breathing gave me an immediate peaceful feeling but what happened a few minutes later was the amazing part, my persistent headache was better. Then a little later while I kept doing the deep breathing, my persistent headache was gone. Deep and slow breaths can help relax tense muscles specially in the neck and shoulder areas potentially helping get rid of headaches.     It's a Stress Reducer When someone is stressed, their breathing pattern changes. A stressed person takes small, shallow breaths, using their shoulders instead of their diaphragm. This style of breathing deprives your body of the much-needed oxygen to function properly. Without enough oxygen our bodies and our minds become weak, so take a deep breath in then let it all out. You might notice a big difference in how you feel in a matter of seconds. Your breathing pattern is a powerful tool to control stress and anxiety making you ready to face any challenge in your day.     Improves Sleep Nothing better than a good night sleep to get you ready for a hectic day ahead, but what if you just can’t get enough sleep? And did you notice the more you worry about not being able to sleep the longer it takes to actually fall asleep? I am here to tell you that deep breathing techniques can be very effective in helping you fall asleep and stay asleep by promoting body and mind relaxation. The diaphragmatic breathing technique has become my favorite. You focus on breathing deeply into your abdomen, feeling your hand on your belly rise as you inhale and fall as you exhale, while you try not to move your chest.   It Helps you Focus Deep breathing techniques can also help you increase focus and improve cognitive function. By including deep breathing in your daily routine, you can calm your nervous system, reduce stress, and increase oxygen flow to your brain, making your mind sharp which promotes improved concentration. It will help train your brain to stay present and focused on the task at hand.   So let’s not forget to breathe but breathe right! If I knew about all these benefits, I would have started deep breathing a long time ago. Find the deep breathing technique that works best for you and consider including it in your daily routine. Some of the techniques out there are the diaphragmatic breathing, the 4-7-8 breathing, the box breathing, the alternate nostril breathing and the counting while breathing. If techniques are not your thing, just close your eyes and take a deep breath. Happy breathing everyone!  

  Feeling stressed or overwhelmed like the weight of the world is on your shoulders? Own less things! This is exactly how I started my new year, doing a detachment of material things by reviewing every single item in my closet and other areas of my house. The feeling of freedom with each full bag that left my house was kind of shocking. Getting rid of the unnecessary things in your home might just give you a fresh start and help you reduce stress, it gives you a sense of freedom, it supports better focus and it might even give you more confidence, let’s expand on these benefits. Reduced Stress and Improved Focus An overfilled or disorganized home can trigger your body to produce the stress hormone cortisol making you feel overwhelmed making it difficult for you to concentrate and get things done. Eliminating the excessive number of things on surfaces, clothes on closets, decorations and even furniture can reduce stress by creating a sense of control and order in your environment. It clears your mind allowing you to relax and a calm and relaxed mind is able to think at its full capacity, focus and concentrate to analyze situations and find solutions.     Feeling Free Are you a slave to your own possessions? Do you feel emotionally attached to material things or have the need to constantly buy more material things? The hardest part is getting started but once you find the power to let go, the feeling of freedom is just amazing. You will find yourself free from the expense of unnecessary spending, free from having a huge number of things to clean, free from the fear of unexpected visitors and free from the lack of space in your house. You will feel like a weight came off your shoulders, a feeling of unexplainable happiness. This is something that most of us don’t realize that by buying unnecessary material things aka clutter you are actually making your life worse.    More Confidence By reducing stress, feeling free and more focused, you could find yourself feeling more confident in many aspects of your life. Owning less can provide a sense of accomplishment and control over your environment, positively impacting your self-esteem. Now you will be able to easily find clothes in your closet which will make getting ready in the morning a piece of cake. You will feel confident feeling like your brain is working at full capacity at work due to your newly found focus. Problems become something easy to solve, just throw me another one! It’s exactly like they say, confidence is everything!     I couldn’t believe these benefits myself and I plan to continue working on my new semi-minimalist self throughout the year. In addition to improving your life, this lifestyle supports cutting back on spending, reducing waste and focusing on what’s really important in life. It’s all about owning less and living more and I am all in for that. Would you dare to try it?  

Having a grateful mindset all-year-round and not just on Thanksgiving Day is a positive trait to have. It is a trait that can help you be resilient and strong regardless of what life situation you might be in. What I mean by having a grateful mindset is appreciating what you do have in your life regardless of how small you might originally think they are and seeing them as big things. Here are three questions to help you reflect and feel grateful:   Do You Have Air in Your Lungs? I have air in my lungs. I can smell the flowers. I can hear birds singing. I can taste food. I can walk. I can feel the sun and the breeze of the ocean on my skin. I can talk. I can write. I can earn a living. I might need glasses sometimes but I have eyesight to see this beautiful world. I am grateful and feel strong because I know how lucky I am to be able to do all these things. Even though none of us know what tomorrow brings, I do know that having a grateful view of our current health status contributes to more health.     Have You Ever Overcome a Difficult Situation? I am proud of myself for everything I have been able to accomplish in my life regardless of the difficulties. Moving often as a child due to having parents from different countries. Learning English as a third language after moving to the United States as a teenager, going to college with a somewhat broken English, building a successful career in a highly competitive industry. Looking back, I am grateful for all these experiences because they made me the strong person I am today. Whatever your life situation was or is, make it a lesson of strength and have the confidence that once you overcome it, you will be stronger and nothing life throws at you can bring you down.     Do You Have Food and a Roof Over Your Head? I am grateful that I have food and a roof over my head. Some might think this is a silly thing to say but that is because some of us take these things for granted. Stop and think that about 1 billion of the world population does not have food to eat on a daily basis with as many as 1.6 billion people are lacking adequate housing and these are statistics that do not include the average struggling families. I feel extremely grateful to have a life where these immediate needs are always met. How this gives me strength? Even when lunch and dinner are not perfect, I am happy to have something to eat.  Even if we end up living in a tiny house (which we do contemplate sometimes) it is a roof and it will always be a happy place.     I do have a grateful mindset and I strive to always keep this mindset even when situations are challenging. And yes, one can say that things could be better, do not forget though that things could also be worse. Focus on the things that you do have in your life. Consequently, having the wisdom to see things that you might not currently have in your life as motivation points, positive life goals and dreams to be chased.

Do we ever overcome grief? My father passed away in February of 2024 at the age of 76. We were very close so this was the hardest thing I’ve had to go through in my life. I had to learn about grief and its stages in order to understand what I was going through and be able to know there was a light at the end of the tunnel and allow myself to go through the process. From the grief stages of denial, anger, bargaining, depression and acceptance, this is what I’ve learned:    It's Okay to Feel Mixed Emotions For me all stages expect for one came together in full force, depression and denial followed by anger and bargaining and more depression. The feeling of deep sorrow took over me immediately after my father’s passing mixed with the feeling of not believing what had just happened. How can my father be gone? He seemed completely fine and making jokes before he went to the hospital earlier that week. Then, mixed with the deep sorrow and denial came the feeling of anger and bargaining when I found myself angrily playing the sequence of events of that week over and over in my head trying to find the areas where things could’ve been handled differently. These emotions are strong and seem to take over our lives but it is important to let these emotions happen in order to be able to start letting go and accepting.     Letting Go was the Most Difficult Part Since going back in time was not an option, I had to learn to be kind to myself and let go of the thoughts of the situations I didn’t have control over. Letting go of those thoughts was very difficult because it means to start creating the path for the acceptance process and to this day is something I work on a daily basis. We have to remember that although we might not have control over situations specially in situations of loss, we do have control over our thoughts and how we let them affect us. Letting go also means to let go of the sad memories that hurt us surrounding the passing of a loved one and choosing to remember the happy days with that person. In my case, I love remembering my father’s jokes and laugh.     Accepting Does Not Mean Forgetting your Loved One I miss my father and I know I always will. As part of the acceptance stage of grief, I have created ways that connect me with him. My father loved planting, nature in general and birds singing, so naturally I enjoy being in green areas and I find myself looking for birds that might be singing. In these settings, I allow myself to feel his presence and I allow myself to say a word or two to him in my mind. For me, creating a setting to connect with my father helped me with accepting the fact that he is no longer physically part of my life, however, knowing that I can feel his presence gives me the assurance that his soul lives on and that he’s still part of my life spiritually.     Time and Talking Do Help Allowing time to go through each of the stages of grief is extremely important and sometimes the different stages might come, go away, then come back again. Be patient with yourself and don’t be afraid to ask for help when needed. Talking things over and then over again definitely helps. In my case, my family was my support system through the roller coaster of emotions and I also was their support when they needed it. Now we can talk and mention my father without crying, most of the time.      (Older brother, mother, myself and younger brother in my father's hometown in Brazil where we brought his ashes in March of 2024)   I don’t think we overcome grief; I think that we learn to live with it. Understanding the stages of grief helped me understand myself. At this point, I can say that I have accepted the passing of my father, I know he’s in a better place now, not suffering and happily watching over us. Besides, like I told him on the moment he passed away in that hospital room while I was holding his hand, it was not a “good bye” just a “see you later”.

My mother was right when she said “Veinte años no es nada”, twenty years did fly by and here I am today in my 40s wondering where the time went. One thing is for sure though, I am much smarter and wiser. I’ve come to the conclusion that the longer you live the more you learn to enjoy life’s special moments and this is because as we get older, we learn what’s really important and have less tolerance for things that do not bring us happiness and peace. Here are the six things I wish I knew when I was 20. Who Cares What People Think About You People will criticize you no matter what you do so do what makes you happy in life. Always remind yourself what you are the owner of your own destiny and nobody else’s opinions matter. It is a skill that you have to practice on an ongoing basis to achieve proficiency and getting older is the perfect practice field for this. Be yourself, be happy and ignore the rest!   Do Not Compare Yourself to Others It’s very easy to compare ourselves to others, it must be human nature but we must fight against it. That comparison brings negative thoughts which prevent you from being your best self. We are all special in our own way and have something unique and valuable that nobody else has. Being older shows you that comparing yourself to others is wasted energy. Be and appreciate yourself! Always remember you’re beautiful! There’s only one “you” in this world!       The Small Things are the Big Things Little do we know when we are young that the little things are the big things in life. Time shows you that the smallest of the details can make lifetime memories and that those are the things that really matter in life. Take the time to smell the roses, feel the breeze of the ocean, make snow angels. Take everything in and enjoy every moment and every detail.     Don’t Settle for Anything Work hard, chase your dreams and don’t settle for anything! One of the best freedoms we have in life is to be able to choose, so choose to have the life that you see in your dreams and life aspirations. It took me many years to stop settling for things, now I am chasing my dreams, I kick routine in the butt and I am living the life that I want.     One Thing Never Changes, Money Does Buy Happiness I am sorry to tell you but money does buy happiness. However, in my 20s, the happiness money bought was the new outfits, the best seats to a concert and that trip to Europe. I still like those things but what’s more important to me now is what I can do for my family and I am not talking about being rich or anywhere close to that. Money buys us experiences like going to Disney World together, eating at iconic restaurants, helping our kids with college expenses but most importantly money gives me the peace of mind of having a comfortable home and good food on the table. This makes me happy.       Life is Short The sooner we learn that our time in this world is limited the sooner we start actually living. Don’t leave for tomorrow the things you want to do today because tomorrow might never come. Create a bucket list and start checking things off, the earlier you start the better. Life is short but is also the most beautiful present we could have received. Let’s make the best of it!     Too bad we couldn’t be this wise at the age of 20 but is never too late to learn. A life well lived is the only thing we can all hope for and always remember that getting older is a privilege that many do not get to experience. Have a good life!      

The term “Chase your Dreams” sounds like something so unreachable, something that we all want to do but it feels more like a dream in itself specially when all the daily responsibilities and the chaos of life hit us, believe me I know how it feels. One thing to remember is that life is short, very short, and that we owe it to ourselves to live it and not only survive it. Chasing your Dreams means having a vision of what you want for yourself and taking actions to achieve that vision. Your dreams and the desire to achieve them will make you wake up every morning with a big smile on your face eager to take the next step to chase those dreams. Here are my five tips:  Tip # 1 – Dream Big but Don’t Tell Everyone     This might be a cultural thing but my mother always told me to not tell everyone about your plans for the future because unfortunately most people won’t be happy for you and their negative comments towards your dreams can bring you down and discourage you. The best approach is to only share your dreams and aspirations with your closest loved ones, people that you know will support you and will provide the positivity that you need to go on your dream chasing journey. To the others, let them know about your dreams with your actions not with words.   Tip # 2 – Write Down what Dream you want to Chase     Have a vision on how your dream will be. Write down what’s on your vision of that desirable future state. Describe the goal you want to accomplish in your life, but write it down either on a piece of paper that you will pin to a board on your wall, your daily planner or diary, or even on our smart phone notes. You must write it down on a place that you will see often so your dream is not forgotten.    Tip # 3 – Picture your Dream     Now that you have a vision in your mind of what your dream looks like, make your eyes see it too. This can be as simple as having a picture of that final state dream put in a place that you will always see like the fridge or on your desk. The “picture” can be anything that will help you visualize your dream, like a magazine cutout, a magnet, a printed page from online, or an actual picture. Being able to see your dream will help you stay motivated on the actions to get there.    Tip # 4 – Break your Dream down into Smaller Goals     From that vision, start breaking it down into several smaller goals. Write them down in a list format to create an action plan. This action plan aka the list of things you need to do to achieve your dreams needs to be simple enough that you can easily follow. I recommend having dates for each goal so that you can keep track on the progress and hold yourself accountable. This list of goals can be as long as it needs to be because the important part of this tip is that these are not big tasks but rather small tasks that are much easier to complete. Keeping them simple and small will help you not get overwhelmed of the work involved to achieve your final state dream.    Tip # 5 – Allow Yourself to Make Mistakes and Learn from Them     Let me tell you, there will be mistakes or things just won't go as planned because it’s life. Regardless on the situation, do not get discouraged. You need to get up, try again and always learn from your mistakes. By learning I mean sometimes you will need to adjust, maybe one of the smaller goals to get to your dream need to be re-planned and redone. Mistakes and failures are life’s way of teaching us so embrace them and keep growing. These five tips will help you but always remember that the “chasing” journey is the most important part of it all regardless of the end state dream because it means you are LIVING so make sure to enjoy the moments along the way, make unexpected lifetime friends, dance like no one is watching, feel the breeze of the ocean, always include things that make you happy because as my friend Steven Tyler would say “Life’s a journey, not a destination”.